as i think about living her in colorado for a year, (serving in a place i never thought i would serve.) i am amazed at how God leads; how everything fell into place for me to come here.
and i am amazed how he is still leading; how he is still having things fall into place. it's easy to doubt that this is what God wants. it's easy to argue it away and come up with excuses why it couldn't be God's will. but then time after time, i get a confirmation from God. he breaks through all that doubt...all those questions...and totally blows me away.
i don't know what this year holds for me, but i am excited to see what God is going to do in my life.
my prayer, for the last while, has been that God would continue to mold and shape me into his image. that he would give me a heart like his.
a heart that loves like he loves.
a heart that serves like he served.
a heart that is selfless.
a heart that truly cares about others.
a heart that totally and completely seeks after the Father.
it amazes me that when we pray prayers like this, if we are serious, God starts showing us things in our lives that we need to work on.
last week i heard a someone speak on the topic of idols in our lives. i was like ok, this is cool, i haven't heard a sermon on this for a while. bring it on...i think i got this one taken care of.
he started out talking about the "normal" idols i think about when i think about idols in my life: money, material things, maybe a relationship, or a hobby that i spend a lot of time doing.
and then, the speaker said, "well, those can be idols, but this is what God has been showing me recently."
a definition: "an idol is something that captures our imagination and thought life. something we try to get from, what only God can give us."
then he went on to say, "with that definition in mind, these are the idols God showed me."
*approval from other people - living for the approval from others.
*productivity/work: wanting to be the person that everyone comes to when they need questions answered. wanting to be on top of everything and everyone at work or in everything i do.
*wanting to feel accepted by others
*wanting to feel needed
he's said, "you know, all of these aren't bad things within themselves, BUT if that's what i am living for. if that is what's capturing my imagination...my thought life. then...yes, it is an idol."
i was completely blown right out of the water. i sat there kind of stunned.
WHAT!?! seriously?!
here i thought my "idol closet" had been pretty much cleaned out. maybe i'm a bit slow, but i had never thought of those things...being idols.
but...it made total sense. and i could connect with pretty much every single "idol" he shared that day.
needless to say, God really has been working in my heart since then. i've had to search my heart. i don't exactly like what i've seen, but i love the thought that God is working. that he hasn't given up on me.
and that he will continue to mold and shape me into his likeness. and with a heart that is totally and completely sold out for him.
