We've moved. To Lancaster County.
It has definitely been a journey to arrive here in PA. After months of praying and seeking God's heart we felt like God was asking us to leave Colorado.
It's been seven years since Austin has permanently lived here and it's been three for me. Our families are changing: siblings dating, family members moving and nieces and nephews being born; we wanted to be a part of it all. We felt that God was confirming in our hearts that it was time to move back to PA and continue building relationships with our families.
So began the days of packing and decisions...lots of decisions.
We have now been in PA for five weeks and are still trying to make decisions. [Sometimes I wonder if maybe, possibly someday the decisions will end. But I don't think that's how it works.]
God has supplied us with a house to stay in for a few weeks and a job for Austin.
Now we are trying to find a house to rent (within the next four weeks), a second vehicle, and a job for me.
We are definitely enjoying being around family, Austin is enjoying his job and I'm enjoying being able to run to my Mom's every week.
Do we miss Colorado? Yes. I truly believe Colorado will always hold a special place in our hearts. No, it wasn't another country or an exotic, tropical island. But it was home to both of us. It holds "special places" that we would go to on dates, our memories and friends. It is where our lives began as a couple. We will always miss the mountains, wide-open spaces, beautiful weather and the state where so many of our hobbies could come alive.
And yet, I know that God will take care of and provide for us here as well. He already has.
He will help us with our decisions and the details that seem overwhelming at times. He will give us new friends and new purpose. We will make new memories and find new "special places". He will help us make this place "home" as well.
What have I learned through this part of our journey?
How much more I need to rely on God for the decisions in everyday life.
I know it sounds like a small thing to learn and a little cliche'...but it's true.
I don't do well with decisions. I dislike decisions. It's the one thing that over-whelms me most in life.
Almost every time I need to make a decision, I do one of two things: I either freeze and go around and around every little detail trying to figure it out in my head or I panic and try to rush things along.
[You know that feeling...when your stomach tightens into knots, your heart starts beating a little faster and you start feeling anything but peaceful? Yup, that's me.]
There has been many times that I have gotten to the place of sitting down in exasperation and declaring, "I don't know what to do."
I have pleaded with God, "Please!! Just help me make a decision!"
Because of my history with decision-making, the journey of moving across the country hasn't been easy for me.
I have had to make decisions; lots and lots of decisions.
I've had to make "small" decisions like: how I should label and organize my packing boxes. I've had to make "medium" decisions like: what to pack and what to sell. And I've had to talk through "big" (or "LARGE" depending if you asked me or not) decisions with Austin like: where we should live and what house we should rent.
Through it all, I believe God has been teaching me so much more of what it is to trust Him with the decisions I make. And, in a lot of ways, I am trying to learn to trust Him "twice-over". What I mean by that is: Learning to trust God in my personal relationship with Him and also learning to trust God as He leads through my husband. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not. It's okay if it doesn't.
One thing that has been a huge help to me, as I seek to continue learning, is this book. I absolutely love the truth that the author teaches. There is page after page of practical ways to apply God's wisdom to making decisions in our every day lives. I have highlighted and underlined my way through the book, and am hoping I will learn how to personally put the ideas into practice.
I know I will never be perfect at making decisions. And I know that there will always be decisions to make. Sigh.
But I also know that God is holding my future in His hands, and He is always there to help me walk through the tough decisions of my life.
That is pretty awesome.
