we are home...

You know when you walk into your house for the first time after being gone on a really long trip; that feeling of just wanting to stand inside the door for a little while, breathing in the sights and familiarity of your very own home?! 

Yes. That's what I have been experiencing for the last two weeks.

We finally have a home...after being without one for two months.

We are renting a little farm house with a beautiful view. It is within a five minute drive to work (for Austin) and a fifteen minute drive to my parents house. Austin's parents live on the north side of Lancaster, so it is a little further to their house, but still close. 

It's amazing how God orchestrated everything right on time. It seriously is a miracle story (which I won't try to explain on here because of all the details). You can ask me about it sometime! :)

We are super excited to make this house our home. And we thank God every day for His provision!

We have a little barn and stable attached to our garage. And also a small pasture out back.

I keep trying to tell Austin that we should buy a horse, a steer, and a puppy! But so far he isn't convinced about any of them. He said we could possibly buy a goat so that we don't have to mow 

as much, but that's as far as he will go. :)

There is so much Austin and I would love to do to "fix up" the place, but since we are only renting we probably won't complete the whole list. :) The outside of the house was in pretty bad shape, so we have cleaned a lot of that up; also some painting and minor projects inside. It has been so amazing to have our families around to help us. We never would've got everything done this soon without them! 

We are pretty much settled in now, besides a unpacking a few boxes and doing some organizing. 

I will try to post some inside pictures soon!

Thank you to everyone who has prayed and stood by us! Hopefully someday you can all come to visit us...we will have the spare bedroom ready for you! :)

Colorado to Pennsylvania

We've moved. To Lancaster County.

It has definitely been a journey to arrive here in PA. After months of praying and seeking God's heart we felt like God was asking us to leave Colorado.
It's been seven years since Austin has permanently lived here and it's been three for me. Our families are changing: siblings dating, family members moving and nieces and nephews being born; we wanted to be a part of it all. We felt that God was confirming in our hearts that it was time to move back to PA and continue building relationships with our families.

So began the days of packing and decisions...lots of decisions.
We have now been in PA for five weeks and are still trying to make decisions. [Sometimes I wonder if maybe, possibly someday the decisions will end. But I don't think that's how it works.]
God has supplied us with a house to stay in for a few weeks and a job for Austin.
Now we are trying to find a house to rent (within the next four weeks), a second vehicle, and a job for me.

We are definitely enjoying being around family, Austin is enjoying his job and I'm enjoying being able to run to my Mom's every week.
Do we miss Colorado? Yes. I truly believe Colorado will always hold a special place in our hearts. No, it wasn't another country or an exotic, tropical island. But it was home to both of us. It holds "special places" that we would go to on dates, our memories and friends. It is where our lives began as a couple. We will always miss the mountains, wide-open spaces, beautiful weather and the state where so many of our hobbies could come alive.

And yet, I know that God will take care of and provide for us here as well. He already has.
He will help us with our decisions and the details that seem overwhelming at times. He will give us new friends and new purpose. We will make new memories and find new "special places". He will help us make this place "home" as well.

What have I learned through this part of our journey?
How much more I need to rely on God for the decisions in everyday life.
I know it sounds like a small thing to learn and a little cliche'...but it's true.

I don't do well with decisions. I dislike decisions. It's the one thing that over-whelms me most in life.
Almost every time I need to make a decision, I do one of two things: I either freeze and go around and around every little detail trying to figure it out in my head or I panic and try to rush things along.
[You know that feeling...when your stomach tightens into knots, your heart starts beating a little faster and you start feeling anything but peaceful? Yup, that's me.]

There has been many times that I have gotten to the place of sitting down in exasperation and declaring, "I don't know what to do."
I have pleaded with God, "Please!! Just help me make a decision!"

Because of my history with decision-making, the journey of moving across the country hasn't been easy for me.
I have had to make decisions; lots and lots of decisions.
I've had to make "small" decisions like: how I should label and organize my packing boxes. I've had to make "medium" decisions like: what to pack and what to sell. And I've had to talk through "big" (or "LARGE" depending if you asked me or not) decisions with Austin like: where we should live and what house we should rent.

Through it all, I believe God has been teaching me so much more of what it is to trust Him with the decisions I make. And, in a lot of ways, I am trying to learn to trust Him "twice-over". What I mean by that is: Learning to trust God in my personal relationship with Him and also learning to trust God as He leads through my husband. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not. It's okay if it doesn't.

One thing that has been a huge help to me, as I seek to continue learning, is this book. I absolutely love the truth that the author teaches. There is page after page of practical ways to apply God's wisdom to making decisions in our every day lives. I have highlighted and underlined my way through the book, and am hoping I will learn how to personally put the ideas into practice.

I know I will never be perfect at making decisions. And I know that there will always be decisions to make. Sigh.
But I also know that God is holding my future in His hands, and He is always there to help me walk through the tough decisions of my life.

That is pretty awesome. 

stretchiness [like a rubber-band...only harder]

august 6, 2014

why do i have to be stretched? and why does it take work to be stretched and to grow?
why can't God mold and shape me while i'm sitting on the couch or [better yet]....sleeping?

that'd sure be nice...but i've found that that is not how it works.

the last while God has been taking us on a journey. a journey of learning and seeking what God's heart is for us.
there's been tears, pain, and lots of prayers.

sometimes it seems that God doesn't hear or that he isn't paying attention. sometimes the journey is lonely. but the longer we go on this journey, the more we find that God does care and how much he does want to take care of us.

i always look at growing and stretching times as BAD times. i don't want to hurt. i don't want to get out of my comfort zone.

i think so often we live life how we want to. we decide what convictions we want to have; what we are going to stand up for or against; who we want to like or don't want to like; what we want to or don't want to do every minute of every day. we make those decisions based on what we want and on what makes us FEEL good....then we have the audacity to look to God and ask him to BLESS what WE WANT. 

how does this make sense??
shouldn't it be the other way around??

i think what i've been learning so much is that it's not about what i want. it's not about what we want. it's not about what you want.

the world doesn't revolve around us. 

it's about sitting down every day and asking GOD what HE wants for every single little part of our lives. from what we choose to do that day to what we stand for in life and the convictions HE wants us to have.

and guess what....

it's going to make us...UNCOMFORTABLE!! it's going to be hard. it's going to go against what our culture and the world are telling us. it's going to hurt our little pride bubbles. it might even make us mad at times.

but if we never do the WORK of growing and being stretched; if we continue choosing to make our own decisions because we want to be comfortable...then why are we here??

i find myself getting so caught up in this little tiny spec of what we call life.
but it doesn't mean ANYTHING compared to eternity. all God cares about is if we are allowing him to work in our hearts and lives; if we are continuing [day after day; minute after minute] to strive to be like HIM.

that's what matters in the end. that's what life is about. that's why we are here.

i don't know guys, my heart is just burdened for our generations; for my generation.
 are we missing it??

let's not get comfortable.

a prayer...

 as i think about living her in colorado for a year, (serving in a place i never thought i would serve.) i am amazed at how God leads; how everything fell into place for me to come here.

and i am amazed how he is still leading; how he is still having things fall into place. it's easy to doubt that this is what God wants. it's easy to argue it away and come up with excuses why it couldn't be God's will. but then time after time, i get a confirmation from God. he breaks through all that doubt...all those questions...and totally blows me away.

i don't know what this year holds for me, but i am excited to see what God is going to do in my life.

my prayer, for the last while, has been that God would continue to mold and shape me into his image. that he would give me a heart like his.

a heart that loves like he loves.

a heart that serves like he served.

a heart that is selfless.

a heart that truly cares about others.

a heart that totally and completely seeks after the Father.

it amazes me that when we pray prayers like this, if we are serious, God starts showing us things in our lives that we need to work on.

last week i heard a someone speak on the topic of idols in our lives. i was like ok, this is cool, i haven't heard a sermon on this for a while. bring it on...i think i got this one taken care of.

he started out talking about the "normal" idols i think about when i think about idols in my life: money, material things, maybe a relationship, or a hobby that i spend a lot of time doing.

and then, the speaker said, "well, those can be idols, but this is what God has been showing me recently."

a definition: "an idol is something that captures our imagination and thought life. something we try to get from, what only God can give us."

then he went on to say, "with that definition in mind, these are the idols God showed me."

*approval from other people - living for the approval from others.

*productivity/work: wanting to be the person that everyone comes to when they need questions answered. wanting to be on top of everything and everyone at work or in everything i do.

*wanting to feel accepted by others

*wanting to feel needed

 he's said, "you know, all of these aren't bad things within themselves, BUT if that's what i am living for. if that is what's capturing my imagination...my thought life. then...yes, it is an idol."

 i was completely blown right out of the water. i sat there kind of stunned.

WHAT!?! seriously?!

here i thought my "idol closet" had been pretty much cleaned out. maybe i'm a bit slow, but i had never thought of those things...being idols.

but...it made total sense. and i could connect with pretty much every single "idol" he shared that day.

needless to say, God really has been working in my heart since then. i've had to search my heart. i don't exactly like what i've seen, but i love the thought that God is working. that he hasn't given up on me.

and that he will continue to mold and shape me into his likeness. and with a heart that is totally and completely sold out for him.

when dreams come true...

What is this dream swirling in my head?
This moment of grace, this truth where I'm led.
Is this a dream of my destiny?
And if I follow where will it lead?

I see you here, I feel your hand.
Vast and mysterious is your plan.
With a heart of faith I will try and see
This heaven and earth you've painted for me.

You've opened my eyes, laid truth on my heart.
Set my spirit to flight, gave light to the dark.
Please make me wise so I might know
The will of my Lord from here below.

I see you here, I feel your hand.
Vast and mysterious is your plan.
If all things start and end with you
Then I can believe that dreams do come true.

Unlimited these things I see
A universe of possibilities
Here for me.

I see you here, I feel your hand.
Vast and mysterious is your plan.
If all things start and end with you
Then I can believe that dreams do come true.

-Sight & Sound (Joseph)

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

a beginning...

december 4, 2011

i decided to start a blog.
a place to write random thoughts. inspirations. scribblings. songs.
a place to be creative.

but most of all...a place to write about my God and how awesome he is.

one of my favorite quotes (which inspired my blog name) is:
"follow Jesus so closely that you get covered by the dust from his sandals."
that's what i want to do. that's how closely i want to follow him.

but i also want to sit at his feet.
it's a place where we can be in his presence.
it's a place where we can hear his words and learn from him.
it's a place where we can share our hurts, our pain, and our sorrows with him.
it's a place where he can reach out and touch us.
it's a place where he can speak into those hurting, broken parts of our hearts and bring healing.
it's a place where we can see the love in his eyes.

i believe that it is the most important thing we can do.
spending time sitting at his feet.

(inspired by a sermon by Mark Schlabach)